Growing over Dying

​So many changes have been happening to me lately, guys, that I admittedly haven't been very present. 

It's like I'm headed down a tumultuous river current, moving straight into a class 6 rapid and instead of paying attention and moving my oars accordingly, I've got one hand on the oar and the other on my iPhone, anxiously checking for Facebook notifications. 

Instead of looking the river head on, I'm only half-looking (admittedly, on purpose): avoiding what's happening and what's coming because IT'S EFFING SCARY! What I realized this morning, though, is that my lack of attention to what's in front of me is giving me more anxiety than just looking the damn thing straight in the eye.

With a new baby just three months away, more changes for my husband's work unfolding, and my too-tight exoskeletons falling off, the river is asking me to keep both hands on the oar. And the only thing making me suffer is my resistance to doing just that.

And just as I've blogged about oh-so-many times, I know that every blood-curdling contraction has Its purpose, that through my Life, God is always seeking to teach me, develop me, and refine me if I can stay present and open to the river's wise and mighty path.

What some call non-dualism (and others call radical faith) has helped me to change my perspective which is all that I'm in control of. When what I used to label as "bad" becomes a necessary and instructive lesson, I can let go of the gripping and find my body, my breath and ultimately my Soul (always just calmly chilling out underneath it all, observing this magical life without judgement).

Then I remember that this badass river is making me a badass woman. I take a deep breath, put my phone down, and pay attention, knowing that, as Joan of Arc says, I was born to do this.

Join me on the mat this month as we collectively find the safety of our soul-space together. We were born to do this, guys, one moment, one breath, one challenge at a time.

Love and peace be with you,
Erin